Drowning Minus the Water Part
The last time I was here, I wrote about my worries of sophomore year and the possibility of me failing, yada yada yada. Well that was a few weeks ago, so let me enlighten everyone with a quick update:
I. Am. Drowning.
In high school, I was very good at balancing my social life and my academic life. I would casually hang out with my friends after classes and after school we would all head to Starbucks and study/gossip, all while still achieving some pretty decent grades. Well I learned last year that you can’t really do that in college. In order to actually succeed, I literally have to isolate myself from the rest of humanity. For the past week I have basically lived in the Nursing and Human Physiology building, spending at least five hours in the basement everyday trying to study and understand the material. By the time I leave it’s the dead of night and I either have to travel clear across campus to get home or make an awkward phone call to campus security to give me a ride. My backpack is never light, my back is always aching, and every time I do something that doesn’t involve my nose in a book, there is an overwhelming sense of guilt that floods my subconscious. And by the time the weekend comes along, I spend the day time making my brain cells work their asses off and spend the night time killing them off with every chug of my Svedka/Coke concoction that I consume.
And the worst part of it all? It’s only week three.
When you’re in college, are studying a difficult major, and have a sever case of FOMO, your priorities aren’t always straight. One minute you’re on the grind and learning about the different types of epithelial tissues and the next minute, you get a text a guy you’ve been low key talking to and suddenly your mind goes to mush and you lose your train of thought.
The theme for this semester is to grind, grind, grind. But I am also human: I crave social interactions and creating fond memories, and the idea of the majority of this semester being spent nose deep in my physics textbook doesn’t sound the most appealing to me.
My mom always told me that when you’re studying what I’m studying, you can not have everything: you always have to make sacrifices. But why is that? Why am I subjected to choose one thing and not have everything?
Well, until I find away to balance academics and social interactions, I am forced to rant about it on my stupid little blog.
Hopefully by the time I post again, something marvelous would have happened so that I can actually not be so gloomy and existential.